Monkey In The Middle

When I was in elementary school I heard a story about a tribe of natives and the monkeys that they hunted. Apparently the natives developed a foolproof method for catching the monkeys which involved a hollowed coconut filled with berries. The natives would leave the coconut in the forest and return the next morning to find a monkey who had reached his hand into the coconut in search of a sweet treat and, refusing to release the berries, was caught with its fist stuck in the coconut. No trickery, no torture, just some berries and a stubborn monkey. I don’t know if this story contains even a hint of truth and frankly I don’t care because either way I caught myself pulling a ‘monkey’ last night and it was pretty bad.

 I think it’s safe to say that we have all succumbed to a socially justified pity party now and then, indulging in the tendency to complain about trivialities in a quest for attention. It can be healthy (I think?) but last night as I was recalling my day I began to realize that things were getting out of hand when I found myself questioning God. Why would He let all of this happen to me? Why should I try anymore when all I get in return is NOT what I want?

It wasn’t until I stopped myself from finishing the last question that I realized how true that monkey story must be. My life is full of joy and love, yet I am constantly getting hung up on the few things that don’t abide by my personal plan. Typical monkey. But then I remembered the verse that mentions how “His power is made perfect in my weakness” and it occurred to me that I am always closest with the Lord when I reach my breaking point. Following that logic I should be thankful for the trials in my life right?

This seems like such a simple line of logic because it is. Why does God let bad things happen to good people? Maybe because we humans are too proud to ask for help until we absolutely need it. The parts of our lives that do not adhere to our expectations often fall under the category of ‘mistake’ but I am learning that perhaps the very things that cause us the most grief can become our greatest spiritual achievements when we recognize them as opportunities to renew our relationships with Christ.

Well great! I worked through my pity-party and established a positive set of alternatives. Yayee me! But logic has this way of worming itself around in my mind and I had to follow through with the thought process…. If bad things happen so that we grow closer to God than what would happen if I had a happy life? If nothing bad ever happened to me would I still have faith?

Twenty-four hours later these questions are still rolling around in my head, obnoxious as a handful of marbles in a tin can. No amount of hope or doubt can drown out this nagging thought process and I am becoming more and more desensitized to the clamor by the minute. I guess part of being human is learning how to function with these questions rattling through your brain.

A wise man once told me that the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time so that is my plan. Not with an elephant, but with a monkey.