One Down, Two To Go.

I once read a series of books featuring a Germanic man who was captured and forced into the coliseum as a gladiator. In the book he commented “You never feel as alive as when you face death every day.” Ironically enough I have come to acknowledge this as the truth in my own life.

 It is almost amusing how sure we humans can be of life. Day by day we take each breath with the lingering expectation that another must follow, despite the relative improbability for the most of us. Since totaling my car for the second time I have been thrust into the reality of the dangers that living presents, as well as the vast appreciation for the many dangers which I have been delivered from thus far. It is difficult to forget this truth when you hear the screech of tires and the crumpling of metal every time you pass through an intersection.

While at first I held these fundamental truths of life and death as a burdens I am coming to find that perhaps what I initially considered a pressure may in actuality be the very push I needed to fully appreciate what I have. Even though my job and a good portion of my dignity went to the dump along with the carcass of my first car, I can now say with confidence that I know what I am.

I am human. A soul looking for God. Nothing more and nothing less. Who I am is a matter of perception and why I am has yet to be determined, so for now I am content to be exactly what I am. Me.